i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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