I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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