We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
