I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
