hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize