So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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