i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
