i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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