so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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