sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
