the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
