I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
