dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
