I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I forget how to act sober
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
