her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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