I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
