Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
