I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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