dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
