I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
