Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
