I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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