toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
