The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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