oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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