Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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