OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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