Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
