i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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