So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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