I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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