2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize