He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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