someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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