it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
