and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
