And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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