i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My cat gives me a boner
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
