even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
And then he peed in my hair
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