I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
