i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
