You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
