drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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