you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
