Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
