well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
