I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
