my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
