I smell stomach acid.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
