Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Two words: blizzard sex
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
