I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize