i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
