tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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