I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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