saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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