I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
