do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
