Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
