Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
