I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
