If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.â€
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