We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize