super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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