You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
