Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize